Longer Stuff Archive

New York, New York

“Oh, wow. That’s a breast.” It was the first thing I noticed, and I’m pretty sure that’s how it was intended to be. A big, beautiful painting of a wonderfully sexy woman laying on her back, her left tit out there for …

The Gym, Part II: Cardio

“Cardio” has a funny connotation these days. Usually, guys think of ways to “get their cardio in”; they play basketball, or toss a football around, or just plain skip it. Me? I’m a basic bitch – I run on the treadmill. I …

Food Shopping

In an effort to offset the 96 straight hours of gluttony that is Thanksgiving Weekend, I decided to go food shopping last night… for the first time in a year and a half. Yes, it’s really been that long. I won’t get …

The Gym: Part 1

For a while now, I’ve been pinning any hope I have of living past the age of 50 on future advances in medicine. “Oh, whatever,” I’ll say, ordering up another round. “In fifteen years, we’ll probably be able to buy a new …

A November Shower

Today was the day every New Yorker has to deal with eventually: the first day in November when showering in the morning really, really sucks, and you realize it’ll probably suck for the next four months straight. If you live in a …